photo courtesy of the New York Jets

Florham Park, NJ— In a stream of events that surprised noone, former Atlanta Falcons quarterback / dog-killer / Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick signed with the New York Jets reportedly for a one year, $5 million contract. The signing promptly led to Vick being placed on IR due to a rib injury that occurred during the signing.

“We understood the risks of signing Michael Vick,” stated Jets general manager John Idzik. “Age, inability to protect himself when running, animal rights activists, and anger by Jets fans that we threw $5 million at a quarterback that we hope will only be a back-up to Geno Smith are all concerns. And we flourished in the media frenzy once again.”

While Michael Vick signing onto the Jets IR for $5 million may be seen as a failure, some sports analysts aren’t so sure.

“There was the distinct possibility that, once again, the New York Jets were going to have a pile of quarterbacks instead of fulfilling their other pressing needs, like another wide receiver, cornerbacks, an offensive line, a running back, coach,” explained analyst Paul Emmerlan. “At least with Vick sidelined with an injury before mini-camps even begin, the signing will be a waste, but not as detrimental to the building of the team that a quarterback carousel would have entailed.”

“If there is one position the Jets were clearly lacking at coming into the 2014 season, it was at Injured Reserve,” continued Emmerlan. “Now they can go into the season without worrying about who is going to sit out for the season. Michael Vick is assured to be that guy.”

Vick’s injury was first believed to be in his wrist during the actual signing, but it was later confirmed that he injured his ribs after laughing once he had signed the contract.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.