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World In Denial Over Death of Philip Seymour Hoffman



New York, NY: In the early stages of an investigation that absolutely no one wants to believe, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his Greenwich Village apartment Sunday morning in an apparent drug overdose. While news outlets continued to report on the investigation, fans of Hoffman, aka everyone, refused to believe that their favorite actor had passed away and help out hope that the news may just be an elaborate internet hoax.

“Most fans are in denial that Hoffman is in an elaborate public relations push for a new TV series or movie, or something other than the belief that he died,” explained psychologist Emily Hasgrove. “Either the hoax idea will fade out, or Hoffman will become as legendary as Elvis or Andy Kaufman. I’m leaning towards the latter.”

When asked about what the actor’s death meant to him, long-time fan Paul Emmerlan interrupted the question, stating, “SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up; will you SHUTUP SHUTUP! SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUTUP… SHUTUP! NOW!” The response was later explained to be a quote of Hoffman’s in the movie Punch Drunk Love, which is considered to be the only enjoyable part of that whole movie.


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