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Chris Farley Found Alive and Well in Toronto

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rob_fordToronto, CANADA:  Comedy fans worldwide were overjoyed this weekend, as it was learned that beloved insane fat man and comedian, Chris Farley, is alive and well and acting mayor of the city of Toronto, Rob Ford.

Many detractors dispute the possibility of Chris Farley still living, citing other such conspiracies dealing with celebrity deaths such as Elvis and Andy Kaufman, the idea of Chris Farley secretly living under the alias of Rob Ford is seen as the most creditable.

Rob Ford suffers from a ridiculously overweight stature, lack of a neck, facial expressions, drug use, and the ability to fly into a rage and tackle elderly women for the sake of comedy. He has also blamed some of his circumstances on his being “in one of [his]drunken stupors,” a proclamation that had been used countless times by Chris Farley himself.

Some of Ford’s other escapades have included coaching a high school football team and using city transit buses to drive them home, falling over while attempting to throw a football in classic slapstick comedy, and sweating profusely in a button-down shirt. These and other instances bring to mind several Chris Farley movie scenes, which has fans hoping that Ford/Farley’s recent escapades are the beginning of a comedy comeback, and possibly a new movie about the Toronto mayor.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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