Austin, TX: Early this morning, the Republican-dominated Texas Senate put aside its pro-life stance against abortion to do the unthinkable: abort an abortion bill that would ban most abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy and mandate clinics and doctors to higher standards of practice.
The abortion began when Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis began a 10-hour filibuster to block the bill from being voted on after it had been pushed through the House of Representatives. A passing vote seemed inevitable considering the high ratio of Republicans to Democrats in the Senate, and the signing of the bill into law by Gov. Rick Perry would then be inevitable.
“We’re not sure if Sen. Davis was hooked up to a couple of colostomy and urine bags or not, but she held her own in the filibuster,” stated political pundit Alex Jenkins.
The filibuster itself was aborted, as the Senate had decided that Sen. Davis had gone off-topic three times during the filibuster, causing it to fail. However, a crowd of Pro-Choice supporters were on-hand, helping continue the abortion by chanting over the vote until the 12 a.m. deadline.
The abortion officially took place at 3 a.m. when Lt. Governor David Dewhurst took the floor of the Senate to pronounce the bill dead.
The abortion bill may be aborted for now, as the office of Gov. Rick Perry sent out a memo after the proceedings: “The governor reserves the right to call the legislature back into special session anytime during the interim.”
“The liberals made us [Pro-Life Republicans] instigate an abortion. Bully for them!” exclaimed local Texas conservative Lee Harvey McDonald. “We’ll probably instigate another abortion, too, by aborting the next filibuster.”