HOLY SH*T: Star Wars 3D Regurgitation Postponed

| January 29, 2013 | 0 Comments

In A Galaxy We Thought Was Far, Far Away: When Disney first acquired Lucasfilm and all rights attached to the company, many a Star Wars fan were fearful of what could become of their beloved franchise. Fears ranged from the series being shelved to being fully animated to heralding the comeback of Mickey Mouse.vader_3D

When it was learned that J.J. Abrams would be directing Episode VII to launch a new trilogy in the epic series, many fears were put to rest, but nothing could have excited Star Wars fans more than a recent press release by Lucasfilm.

“Given the recent development that we are moving forward with a new ’Star Wars’ trilogy we will now focus 100 percent of our efforts on ’Star Wars: Episode VII’ in order to ensure the best possible experience for our fans.”

“HOLY SH*T”s and “F*CKING A”s resonated throughout the planet at the news, as the term “Star Wars” was slowly becoming synonymous with “lazy re-releases where they change the credits font and repackage it as re-mastered”. Instead, the dizzying, post-produced 3D adaptations of the previous Star Wars films would be shelved in order for all focus to be maintained on a new, exciting chapter in the Star Wars saga.

“I am abso-f*cking-lutely amazed at the news,” stated a man walking in Times Square wearing Stormtrooper body armor. “I figured Disney was much more commercially focused on selling out than George Lucas. Glad they proved me wrong.”

 

 

Written by Patrick AE

Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man…. When he isn’t writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from bloodthirsty seals, and other activities that could be truths or lies, he’s probably writing at The Critics Den, Sports Jeer, or CBS’ Man Cave Daily.

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