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Lolo Jones Succeeds in Bobsledding, Fails to Chilliness


Lake Placid, NY: Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones made headlines in sports this week when she succeeded in making the jump from summer’s track and field to winter’s bobsledding, a jump that hadn’t had so much publicity since the movie Cool Runnings.

AP Photo/Michael Lynch

For 3 weeks, the track star trained vigorously to learn the ways of bobsledding and how to survive the briskness involved in winter sports.

“This is a breath of fresh air — cool, very cool, cold air,” Jones stated.

While Jones may have been only referring to the relief and excitement of being selected for this season’s U.S. bobsled team, the quote may have been a double-entendre for something else that was invigorated: Lolo Jones’ nipples.

Yes, eclipsing the success of a summer athlete making the jump into winter sports was a featured picture of Lolo Jones in her practice outfit, clearly showing that Lolo Jones was either extremely excited by her prospects of becoming a U.S. bobsledder, or extremely cold.

“There has been so much hype surrounding Miss Jones, whether it be for the London Olympics or her spread in ESPN Magazine,” stated sports analyst and lover of the female body Paul Emmerlan. “Finally, both of those situations have been melded into one that hasn’t generated so much excitement since the creation of the Lingerie Football League.”

Coverage of bobsledding events has already grown since the release of the photo as men and women rush to secure their spot at the finish line in order to catch a glimpse of Miss Jones’ excitement for themselves.

“I never thought bobsledding could be more exciting live than on television,” stated recent women’s bobsledding fan Arnold Haubenbauker, “But now I expect that camera angles really didn’t do the athletes justice in their excitement, so I want to see it for myself.”

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