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Giant British Umbrella Working for London Olympics


London, GREAT BRITAIN: The greatest fear to athletes, fans, and advertisers about the 2012 London Olympics is proving to be unfounded, as the first two days of the Olympic games have been uninterrupted by the rainy weather that the British Isles are notorious for.

The reason? A giant, invisible umbrella, whose stem has been stationed on top of the ArcelorMittal Orbit observation tower and allegedly covers the entire Olympic Village.

While neither tourists nor athletes have seen the item, it seems much more plausible than the fact that London has not had rain in three days.

“We’re talking about a city that dreamt up both Mary Poppins and Harry Potter,” stated architectural historian Stanley Maxis. “Combine those, and who knows what sort of a marvels of architecture can be accomplished. A 50-story high invisible umbrella with a diameter of 3 miles? Child’s play.”

Still, others speculate that rain has been an issue covered up in the media. “Everyone is complaining about the event delays in the United States,” stated Olympics fanatic Candace Treyber. “I remember when I was watching the Olympics almost 24 hours a day. Live feeds followed by delayed feeds on events happening at the same time. Now we have commercial breaks every 5 minutes, special interest reports on United States athletes, and pictures of the Thames. I need my synchronized swimming!”

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.


  1. avatar
    Not That Mike on

    It actually is raining, but we don’t know it because the water sprayed out from that ridiculous powerboat David Beckham drove the torch in with is still falling.

  2. avatar

    I think it’s because Sean Connery is reliving his role from The Avengers 1998 version

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