Miami, FL: What has been pop culture myth and a horror film focus has quickly become reality, as zombie-like attacks have begun surfacing in Miami, Florida.

Artist's depiction of Rudy Eugene

The latest involved a homeless man, Rudy Eugene, who was found naked and eating off the face of another man on a highway ramp. When confronted by police officers, Mr. Eugene stood up and growled. The officers shot the man once, and continued shooting when they found that the man continuing his meal.

The victim has since been brought to Jackson Memorial Hospital.

While the explicit cause is believed to be the use of “bath salts”, an LSD derivative that causes increased blood pressure, body temperature, and hallucinations, these same symptoms can be contributed to Solanum, a virus that was exhaustively researched in Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide and referenced in his follow-up book, World War Z.

“While the violent behavior and cannibalism attributed to Solanum in these books is usually at the victim’s post-mortem phase, zombie science is still in its infancy stages,” explained self-proclaimed professor of zombiology Trent Decker. “I only hope we can make an exorbitant leap, given the recent zombie-like activity.”

The activity has many horror aficionados running for cover, due to their vast knowledge of film zombies, but some are skeptical about what it all means.

“I think it’s highly coincidental that these zombie attacks have begun when the film version of World War Z is on schedule for its release date in 2013,” stated horror movie buff Paul Emmerlan. “Advertising agencies, publicists, and PR departments have been pushing the marketing envelope for centuries. Is setting up an actor to portray an insane cannibal eating a man’s face in public really that off the wall? Next you’ll be telling me that Eli Manning really drives a Toyota.”

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

3 thoughts on “World War Z Begins with Miami Zombie Attack”
  1. Your a moron. Get your facts straight. Bath salts are not a derivative of lsd.

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