Springfield, OH: A normal garage sale on a normal neighborhood block turned into mayhem this past weekend, as local Springfield resident Nicholas Glunt learned what a garage sale really is, the hard way.

After moving his stuff out of his garage, Mr. Blunt promptly rented his own garage.

Mr. Glunt had purchased his first home in November of last year, so this would be the first garage sale that he was a part of. Unfortunately, it may have been his last. At around 10:00 AM, Mr. Glunt was approached by his first potential customer, Marcus Smith. It is believed Mr. Glunt had few visitors because he had neglected to put any items out for display at the garage sale.

“I had a late start for the event, so I ended up just standing out in front of my garage, waiting for a buyer,” explained Glunt. “It seemed everyone else had already moved most of the stuff out of their garages, but since I had just moved in, I really didn’t have much to move.”

Marcus Smith, a real estate lawyer, approached Glunt to ask him what he was selling. Glunt allegedly looked confused, then pointed to his garage.

“I thought this guy had bars of gold or something that he was selling, from how he just stood in his empty driveway like an idiot, so I decided to check it out,” explained Smith. “Apparently, he was standing there like an idiot because he is an idiot. He was literally selling his garage. not the house, not renting storage space, but selling his whole fucking garage!”

The rest of the incident happened fairly quickly. Smith offered to buy the garage for $4,500, and quickly scribbled out a contractual agreement in his Mercedes for the men to sign and make copies up. In as little as an hour, Nicholas Glunt was without a garage, and Marcus Smith had one.

“Since he paid me so quickly, I decided to move my stuff out of my old garage just as quickly,” explained Glunt. “Unfortunately, it started getting cloudy, so I called up Marcus after he had left to ask him if I could rent his garage for the weekend. He gave me a good deal at $500 a month, said I could use it as long as I needed.”

When asked why he would sell his own, property-zoned garage, Glunt said, “Hey, I’ve seen plenty of episodes of Storage Wars. I figured, why not make a little money on my own storage?”

When it was explained that, in Storage Wars, bidders are buying the contents of storage containers and not the containers themselves, Nicholas Glunt had no comment.

*photo courtesy of Darby Shaw

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.