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PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive Sparks Protest Over Clint Howard Snub


New York, NY: With the release of PEOPLE Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” cover, there seemed to be little conflict with the choice of Bradley Cooper. Handsome, successful, popular, the star of the “Hangover” movies seemed an easy choice for the general public.

Unfortunately, not everyone agreed, as an overwhelming amount of Clint Howard fans took to social networking sites after Wednesday’s announcement, with their beliefs of how the vote was a scam that snubbed the hot and sexy Howard.

“Just look at the guy,” explained Howard fan John Neilson, whose wife recently left him to follow Bradley Cooper around. “Clint Howard exemplifies the sexiness of the common man. It’s an easily attainable vision of beauty that, unlike Cooper, many of us can attain.”

“I love the guy,” stated New York cuckold Andrew Lesler. “Golf, World of Warcraft, balding, and crummy teeth are the traits of a real man, and I’ll label anyone who says otherwise as shallow and petty.”

Despite the rainy weather, about a thousand Clint Howard devotees appeared before People magazine’s office building on Sixth Avenue Thursday afternoon wearing masks bearing the actor’s face. Only a few donned red balding wigs in the confusion between Ron and Clint Howard.

“It’s unfair to Clint, his fans, and the public image of the perfect man that he wasn’t chosen as this year’s sexiest man alive,” a protester stated. “It also shows how out of touch People Magazine is with mainstream culture. If we can’t trust People Magazine to put a man that exemplifies the sexiness that only 98% of the nation exudes, then who can we trust?”

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