Newark, NJ: Yes, the rumors are true. Once a professional basketball fan that seemed to dwarf the likes of Jack Nicholson and Spike Lee in the art of player appreciation, professional booty Kim Kardashian had enough of the drama involved in the NBA lockout, and submitted for a refund on her court-side season tickets for the New Jersey Nets.

While most of her friends and family understood that she had been unhappy with the proceedings of the last 72 days, the decision to finally end her season ticket claim came suddenly to everyone, even though labor talks between the players’ union and owners of the NBA seemed stale at best.

“Times are tight, and Kim just felt that her $10 million investment into Nets season tickets was being wasted on other ventures,” stated local paralegal Alicia Zimmerman. “She was not getting what she expected, which led to the claim of irreconcilable differences.”

Another factor that helped Kim Kardashian part ways with her season tickets was the fact that the Nets would be moving to Brooklyn in 2012, which would extend her travel time to egg the houses of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, a tradition she has kept since meeting Nets forward Kris Humphries last season.

“I have a reality TV show, costume jewelry being sold at Sears, Academy Award-worthy roles in films like Disaster Movie, and a whole slew of professional basketball players with nothing left to do except me,” stated Miss Kardashian. “Who has time to hitch themselves to one set of season tickets with a schedule like that?”

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.