Toronto, ON CANADA: Leprechauns, unicorns, fairies, and woodland nymphs are in an uproar over a Catholic school’s recent decision to ban rainbows from its premises.
The problem started when the Saint Joe’s Catholic School in Ontario found themselves in the middle of a dilemma. Recently, an unofficial gay-straight alliance group formed at the school. The gay-straight alliance group was “unofficial” because the school (along with many other Catholic schools) bans any group that works towards overcoming differences and inequality. However, in an attempt to appease the students and appear somewhat open-minded, St. Joe’s did agree to allow the students to host an anti-homophobia event—with certain restrictions.
“We told the students that rainbows were not allowed at the event,” said Principal Gaynor. “Rainbows are symbols of gay pride and we didn’t want any gay pride at the anti-homophobic event.”
To subvert the Catholic establishment, students baked cupcakes to be sold at the event. The cupcakes were made from rainbow-colored batter. After finding out about the cupcakes, the school prohibited bake sale proceeds from going to any lesbian, gay, or transgendered charitable organization.
The school also stopped the students from distributing pamphlets on HIV prevention. “The Catholic Church is against practicing safe sex and so we did not want people thinking that we are encouraging such practices,” explained Gaynor.
Despite the school’s rainbow-banning, the event turned out to be a success. It attracted dozens of students from numerous Catholic Schools around the area, as well as a numerous priests who claimed to be “just chaperoning.”
Fantasy creatures got in on the debate after news of the rainbow-banning hit the media. Pot o’ Gold (a human-leprechaun alliance) released this statement:
We at Pot o’ Gold are greatly disappointed in St. Joe’s decision to ban rainbows from their premises. Rainbows have long been a symbol of leprechauns around the world. They make us smile and lead us to our pots of gold. St. Joe’s decision to ban our beloved rainbows greatly hurts human-leprechaun relations.
Other fantasy creature organizations are also upset by the recent rainbow-banning.
“We fear that glitter and sunshine will be banned next,” said a representative from the International Association of Unicorns & Other Sparkly Creatures. “The world would be a horrible place without glitter and sunshine.”
Principal Gaynor assured the unicorns that sunshine is safe. Glitter, however, may eventually be banned from St. Joe’s because of its association with drag queens.