Stockholm, SWEDEN: The life of a musical artist can be complicated. One moment they’re prancing around the stage in pants made of neon rubber bands and a Thundercats mask, and then dressed in a sweat-suit, sipping tea on Fashion Avenue. It can be confusing for fans, management, and even for the artists themselves.
One of the most confusing of pop culture, Lady Gaga, was exposed this week for what she really is. Her closeted identity was brought out to the light, exposed for all the world to see, answering so many of the questions that had surrounded her in her career, from musical inclinations to fan base to what may have been in her pants. Lady Gaga is actually 36 year old Swedish electro anti-pop sensation Karin Dreijer Andersson, also known as Fever Ray.
Although the news was confusing, many in the media were not shocked. “Karin has been pushing the envelope in her music for years,” explained record store creeper Kenneth Ogden. “She’s dressed as a witch doctor, a giant human-like mouse, and even as Rick Astley, with the vocal modifications to play as all three. The idea that she would dress up as a 25 year old pop star that dresses up like 52 year old 80’s pop star is actually kind of boring.”
While it may be the opposite of what many artists strive to do, the opposite is just what Karin always seems to do. Most music artists, like Fiona Apple, take their fame from being part of popular music and use it to draw fans into the more personal, avant-garde corners of their musical abilities. However, Karin Dreijer Andresson did just the opposite. After being a part of the virtually unknown alterna-band “Honey Is Cool”, Karin formed the below-the-radar popular act The Knife with brother Olof Dreijer. When that became popular, she quickly reverted to an even more experimental phase as the solo act Fever Ray.
Unbeknownst to most of the world, Karin always had an undercurrent piece of art in the works the whole time: the conceptualization of a pop star.
“People were always wondering what Karin was up to when she wasn’t on stage,” explained former Swedish stalker and fan-boy Magnus Olouf. “Who would have guessed she was producing tracks for Def Jam, hanging out with Perez Hilton, and knocking Britney Spears off her pop star throne? It would be like Rush Limbaugh going to New Mexico to join a nudist colony and eat peyote. That is art in its truest form, the total annihilation of former principles to make way for new interpretations.”
“It should have been me,” stated Icelandic electronica musician Bjork. “I was working on that idea with my alter-ego Katy Perry, but I got beat to the punch.”
Karin Andersson/Lady Gaga were unavailable for comment, as it was unknown which identity she was keeping up with at the moment.
The entire nation of Sweden and Williamburg, Brooklyn are now gunning for you.