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Federal Stance on Gay Marriage: Not That There’s Anything Wrong with That…


   The Obama administration notifies Congress that it will no longer defend in court the federal law that says marriage can exist only between a man and a woman.

Washington, DC: The Obama Administration made their first bold act regarding the time honored institution of marriage. Defying conservatives, the Administration has stated that it will no longer use Federal resources to engage in court battles defending what one Administration member called “the archaic institution of marriage”. This is thought to create the beginnings of a slippery slope that could result in marriage between two men, two women, a liberal and a conservative, a man and an animal, a woman and an animal, and any other crazy combination of mammalian species.

Eh, why not?

President Obama, when pressed for a comment, stated that, “I am all for marriage between a man and a woman, but I also realize not all people think the way I do. For example, some people think Sarah Palin is a viable candidate for president, while others think she is unfit for administration of the PTA, or SPCA for that matter. Anyway, my point is we all have our preferences and who am I to say you can’t marry your pot bellied pig? I don’t really care.”

The conservative watchdog group ‘Zealots for Matrimony’ released a statement condemning this action. “We strongly believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. It says so in the bible. We think. Of course, it also says dead people rise and walk around and that people routinely lived to be 900 years old, but wouldn’t that explain all the zombie movies? We’re not sure about the really old people. Anyway, what’s next, gay Geico cavemen marrying?” When contacted for comment, Geico declined, even though commenting is so easy even a caveman can do it. Presumably.

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