Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. This is the last week of regular picks, but don’t worry. We’ll be picking everything from playoff games to the Pro Bowl, and maybe even some draft picks(thanks, Steve.)
Sunday, January 2nd, 2011
VS
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons
LINE: Falcons (ATL) by 15
Rick Bernardo
Getting rid of Julius Peppers and Jake Delhomme to make room for a major draft push next season would seem like a good idea. The problem is, Panthers’ owner Jerry Richardson doesn’t want to spend any money on a coach like Bill Cowher or Jon Gruden if John Fox is let go. What makes anyone think he’ll shell out #1 draft pick dollars on one of the worst draft pools of the past decade, particularly when there may be a lock-out during pre-season? Pick: Panthers-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Falcons-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Falcons-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Falcons-WIN
VS
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns
LINE: Steelers (PIT) by 6
Darby Shaw
The Browns are dangerous in a spoiler role here. Well, except for the fact that beating the Steelers would only help the Ravens, which would lead to the entire city of Cleveland murdering Eric Mangini in his sleep. If he weren’t already dead, of course. Pick: Steelers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Steelers-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Steelers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Steelers-WIN
VS
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions
LINE: Lions (DET) by 3
Steve Elle
There is irony in the fact that Brett Favre’s likely last game in the NFL will find him on the inactive list. This is primarily because Jenn Sterger is not employed by the Vikings. That might keep the randy Mr. Favre active. These are two teams moving in different directions. The Lions should have their QB of the future while the Vikings have no earthly idea who their QB is. They know who he won’t be though: the formerly family oriented, easily relatable Mississippi bumpkin (aka: most overrated QB of all time) Brett Favre. Good bye Brett. Forever this time, please. Pretty please? Pick: Lions-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Vikings-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Vikings-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Lions-WIN
VS
Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs
LINE: Chiefs (KAN) by 4
Darby Shaw
The Chiefs are the AFC champs, a year after being the bottom-dweller. They would like to thank their divisional opponents for giving them the opportunity to win. To the Chargers: thanks for throwing your shot away to the hapless Bengals. To the Broncos: thanks for drafting Tim Tebow, rather than a player that would have an impact. And to the Raiders: thanks for being the Raiders. Pick: Chiefs-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chiefs-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Chiefs-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Chiefs-LOSS
VS
Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots
LINE: Patriots (NWE) by 4
Steve Elle
This game will likely be fairly boring. The Pats might make it interesting, however, since they don’t have much to play for. Tony Sparano will try to rally the troops in an effort to save his job. The smart money says he fails. Pick: Patriots-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Patriots-WIN
VS
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints
LINE: Saints (NOR) by 8
Steve Elle
This should be a good game. The surprising Bucs, having already assured a winning season, will try to sneak into the playoffs if they can beat the Saints (with some help from the Packers and Giants). The irony here is if they win, securing a 10 win season, they can still miss the playoffs while a horrific team such as the Seahawks can make it in without even having a winning record. Ah, the ever inclusive NFL. Pick: Bucs-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bucs-WIN
VS
Buffalo Bills @ New York Jets
LINE: EVEN
Rick Bernardo
The smart money on this game is that neither team has much to play for except respectability, and the Jets would rather rest up their starters for the playoff push than acquire that. Easy win for Buffalo, right? Wrong. The implications of a Buffalo win are enormous. At the moment, they are scrapping for a tie for the 2nd draft pick with 4 other teams with a 4-11 record behind the #1 draft lock Panthers. A win would surely destroy those hopes and dreams. Pick: Jets-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Jets-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Bills-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bills-LOSS
VS
Cincinnati Bengals @ Baltimore Ravens
LINE: Ravens (BAL) by 10
Rob Wheatley
I’m astounded to read that even at this stage in the season, the Ravens have had only 18 turnovers on nine intercepts and nine screwed up plays…Whereas the Bengals are on 22 turnovers , 16 donuts, a couple of large slices of pecan pie, and an extremely rich date and walnut loaf. Medically then, it would seem that the Bengals will have the wind behind them for this one, and they should be blowing out all the stops in their aim to pump the…..oh hang on, I just trod on a duck ! Lorks a’lordy, don’t tear the cloth, I’ll take the whole piece.. who cares who wins, they’re both shyte ! Yayyy Ravens WIN ! Pick: Ravens-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Ravens-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Ravens-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Ravens-LOSS
VS
San Diego Chargers @ Denver Broncos
LINE: Chargers (SDG) by 4
Darby Shaw: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Broncos-LOSS
VS
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers
LINE: Packers (GNB) by 10
Darby Shaw: Pick: Bears-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick Bears-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Packers-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bears-WIN
VS
Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts
LINE: Colts (IND) by 10
Darby Shaw: Pick: Titans-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Titans-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Colts-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Colts-LOSS
VS
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles
LINE: EVEN
Rob Wheatley
The Dallas Cowboys are one of the most famous NFL teams internationally. Somehow the image of a Cowboy, in tight shiny trousers and ludicrous shoulder-pads, helmet glinting in the sunset..well, it’s almost enough to turn any man. But ignoring any homo-erotic overtones that this match may be concealing, you have to consider that the Dallas Cowboys never wrote ‘Hotel California’, and I think that’s going to be the real difference here. Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
VS
Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers
LINE: 49ers (SFO) by 7
Darby Shaw: Pick: Cardinals-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Cardinals-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: 49ers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Cardinals-LOSS
VS
New York Giants @ Washington Redskins
LINE: Giants (NYG) by 4
Rick Bernardo
After being picked apart by Green Bay last week, Eli Manning decided to try out another approach to team speeches. While the press was locked out of the meeting, Eli Manning could be heard crying and pleading, “Please! We gotta do it for the Gipper!” It’s doubtful this would help much, but it’s the Redskins anyway. Pick: Giants-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Giants-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Redskins-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Redskins-WIN
VS
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans
LINE: Jaguars (JAC) by 3
Rob Wheatley
Jaguars WIN. Just a feeling I have. Do you know when you forget to go to the toilet and then suddenly you’re standing there and it all goes warm and you think “ooh, that’s nice”. Well you should be bloody ashamed of yourself ! Or that feeling when you do something really unacceptable but then think to yourself “aah, sod it, I’m drunk and I just don’t care”, that’s great isn’t it. Well anyway, it’s neither of these, but a different one, a feeling that tells me Jaguars WIN. (Hang on, I’ve just wet meself…aah sod it, I’m drunk). Pick: Jaguars-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Texans-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Texans-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Texans-WIN
VS
St. Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks
LINE: Rams (STL) by 3
Darby Shaw
Dear NFL: I understand that this is the game with the greatest playoff implication, but… really? I’d rather jab myself in the eye with a spork than watch this pile of crap. We need to scrap the standard method of determining a divisional champion in the NFC West and just throw the entire division into the Thunder-dome. FOUR TEAMS ENTER! ONE TEAM LEAVES! Pick: Rams-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Rams-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Rams-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Rams-LOSS
RECORDS
This Week
Darby Shaw: 9-7
Rick Bernardo: 8-8
Steve Elle: 9-7
Rob Wheatley: 7-9
Total
Steve Elle: 147-109
Rob Wheatley: 140-116
Darby Shaw: 139-117
Rick Bernardo: 138-118