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Royal Wedding: Sh*t A Brick

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What is going on with these SEXY ROYALS ?

No sooner is The Princess Of The Dianna Of The Whales killed and buried in a French tunnel by the GREEK Mafia over a Knightsbridge TURF dispute, and  nothing to do with Land-Mines or ‘Marrying the Moozers’, allegedly, then they’re AT IT AGAIN !

That bloody German, sorry , British-Grecko-Deutsche Royal Family (although not in that order) is once again AT the centre of a major SEX SCANDAL, which shows no signs of going away. This time IT’S the turn of the second hair on the throne, PRINCE William and his STUNNER of a girlfriend, the LADY Of The Kate Of The Middletons, who are going to be TYING the knot next SUMMER !

In what has already been referred to as “The Royal Wedding”, WILLY The HAIR, will be exchanging vows IN London’s Westminster ABBEY. The Abbey is FAMOUS all over the GLOBE as the burial place for centuries worth of history’s GREAT and good. Kings and QUEENS of England, William Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, DICK Van Dyke’s COCKney accent, we got the lot mate! They’re are all buried here. There is even a now UK wide camapaign to HAVE Tony Blair buried in the abbey,  unfortunately a loophole in THE law states that he has to be DEAD first. Anyway, let’s hope all them DEAD People don’t STINK too bad. The Queen has a higly developed sense of SMELL…she is ROYALTY after all & endless generations of inbreeding does HAVE it’s advantages.

Apparently the DUKE of Windsor can make himself look like a CASTLE, and  Princess Micheal Of Kent is a WOMAN WITH A MAN’s name. Princess Anne’s HAIR has remained constant since the early 1960’s. So SOLID is its construction that if you PUNCH it you will break your ARM. (I tried and I did. that’s WHY I’m typing this with my ARSE, according to the dictionary it’s the next bodily part available ).

So as the UK laughs with some hilarity at the fact we’ve not only exported Piers (The dog’s KNOB with a HAT on) Morgan and Sarah(stupid useless f’kup)Fergusson and Gordon(SWEARING)Ramsey and Simon (The bowels)Cowells and any other bullshit, oh yeah, Ricky (I bloody laugh like a bag of crows at my own laundry as long as I DONE IT) Yerface and Russell(TWAT)Brand etc etc atcha and atcha… we also look forward to selling you another Royal Tourism experience…Wait for it:

Chazza & Di 2 !!

The reboot.

Yep, this time we get Spielberg to do the ENDING, y’know, cover it with SYRUP & that and make it impossible to even look at without your teeth jumping out of your head in decay-defiance, and then GET John Williams to get his ‘Orchestra of a thousand BASTARD piccolos’ to trash every single PIECE of remaining subtlety into a paste by blowing ridiculous 32nd of a beat trills over everything until I have to STOP WATCHING HARRY POTTER cos I couldn’t hear the sound of the bloody broomstick flying!!! You unholy arse !!

Anyway, COME to Britain, pick up a Royal, take them BACK home with you. I don’t think MOST of us would even notice.

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