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NFL Powder Puff Picks: Week 8


Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. Our token British guy still has the lead, and bottom-feeder Rick Bernardo has finally picked more correctly than not in a week.

Sunday, October 31st, 2010


Miami Dolphins @ Cincinnati Bengals

LINE: Bengals(CIN) by 2

Steve Elle

With Revis Island recently re-inhabited, Cincinnati will look like Divas Island. Terrell Owens, Ocho Cinco, Brandon Marshall – all on the same field. There hasn’t been this much ego in one building since the legendary Dane Cook staged his last solo show to the sound of one hand clapping. These teams actually match up well. It will come down to execution. And as John McKay once said regarding the execution of his team, I’m all for it. Pick: Dolphins-WIN

Darby Shaw: Pick: Dolphins-WIN

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Dolphins-WIN 

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Dolphins-WIN



Jacksonville Jaguars @ Dallas Cowboys

LINE: Cowboys (DAL) by 7

Rick Bernardo

Is it just me, or does it seem like the Cowboys are always playing at home? Who is Jerry Jones paying off? He should save some of that money for a coach and new team for next season. Pick: Jaguars-WIN 

Darby Shaw: Pick: Jaguars-WIN

Steve Elle: Pick: Jaguars-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Jaguars-WIN




Washington Redskins @ Detroit Lions

LINE: Lions(DET) by 3

Rob Wheatley

 Did you know, that ‘The Red Lion’ is one of the most popular Pub names here in the UK? Or that ‘skins’ is a popular underground smokers slang for cigarette-paper? And that Lion skins are illegal, unless you’re a Lion..which doesn’t matter anyway cos you gonna loooose..Redskins to skin the Lions (skin). Pick: Redskins-LOSS 

Darby Shaw: Pick: Redskins-LOSS

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Redskins-LOSS 

Steve Elle: Pick: Lions-WIN




Buffalo Bills @ Kansas City Chiefs

LINE: Chiefs(KAN) by 8

Darby Shaw

Sure, the Chiefs were the last undefeated team in the NFL. Sure, they have the best rushing attack in the league. Sure, Buffalo is the only team (so far) that Terrell Owens couldn’t stand for even two seasons. But I just think they’re a scary team to face right now. (By the way… this is known as a “reverse jinx” in the football world.) Pick: Bills-WIN 

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chiefs-LOSS 

Steve Elle: Pick: Bills-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bills-WIN




Carolina Panthers @ St. Louis Rams

LINE: Rams(STL) by 3

Rick Bernardo

This is what happens when you are the last to pick your commentary: you get Panthers vs. Rams. You hope for the best, but expect the worst. Much like both of these teams. Except the Rams seem a bit more stable. Wow. I didn’t expect to say that for at least another year. Pick: Rams-WIN 

Darby Shaw: Pick: Rams-WIN

Steve Elle: Pick: Rams-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Panthers-LOSS 



Green Bay Packers @ New York Jets

LINE: Jets(NYJ) by 6

Steve Elle

It doesn’t seem possible that the Jets can lose any other games. You have the dynamic, wise beyond his years play of Sanchize; you have a rejuvenated L.T.; you have a recently re-inhabited Revis Island. And what do the Packers have? Brett Favre? No. Reggie White? Dead. Vince Lombardi? Plant food. Good luck, young Packers, but your mission IS impossible. Pick: Packers-WIN 

Darby Shaw: Pick: Packers-WIN

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Packers-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Packers-WIN



Denver Broncos @ San Francisco 49ers


Darby Shaw

 Dear sweet jebus… after the way the Broncos played last week and the way the Niners have played all year, I don’t think they could sell this game out if they gave the tickets away and offered free lapdances at halftime. I definitely think they should try the lapdance thing anyway, though, just to be sure. Excuse me while I check Expedia for flights to the Bay area. Pick: 49ers-WIN

 Rick Bernardo: Pick: Broncos-LOSS

Steve Elle: Pick: 49ers-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: 49ers-WIN



Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers

LINE: Chargers(SDG) by 4

Rob Wheatley

Well, I don’t know what to say following the recent Panthers/Phartens anagram scandal of last week…but Titans has just GOT to be an anagram of Satans’s just got to be..anyone, can you just check ?? Purely on the basis of the angram, I’m going Titans to WIN Pick: Titans-LOSS

Darby Shaw: Pick: Chargers-WIN

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chargers-WIN

Steve Elle: Pick: Chargers-WIN



Seattle Seahawks @ Oakland Raiders

LINE: Raiders(OAK) by 3

Rob Wheatley

Squawk squawk squawk, goes the big Seahawk…”Fuck off” shouts the Raider, “I’m trying to raid something, and you’re sure to wake the victims of my nefarious activity and bugger it up for everyone ! You stupid bird!” – Just a bit of poetry for you there, about a Seahawk. And a Raider…Raiders win this one! Pick: Raiders-WIN

Darby Shaw: Pick: Seahawks-LOSS

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Raiders-WIN

Steve Elle: Pick: Seahawks-LOSS 




Minnesota Vikings @ New England Patriots

LINE: Patriots(NWE) by 6

Rick Bernardo

There seems to be a lot of talk about how Randy Moss can clue the Vikings defense into the game plan for the Patriots’ offense. Big deal. Here’s a hint: Wes Welker runs slants, Deion Branch runs a fly pattern, and Benjarvus Green-Ellis diddles himself in the backfield because he has nothing better to do. All that scouting, and I didn’t even have a video camera…or a camera-phone. Pick: Patriots-WIN 

Darby Shaw: Pick: Patriots-WIN

Steve Elle: Pick: Patriots-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Patriots-WIN 




Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Arizona Cardinals

LINE: Cardinals(ARI) by 3

Steve Elle 

The Bucs meet the Cardinals Sunday in the most eagerly awaited match since about 5 minutes before this game starts. Rookie Buc RB Lagarette Blount looks to get more carries (and less punches) as he’s shown that he belongs in this league. The QB for the Cardinals Matt Fox (sp? Name?) is coming off a concussion, but that bodes well for him since the Bucs have been very, very polite to QBs this season. This is one of those rare games that will come down to the final score. Unlike Miami’s game last week, the team with the most points will likely deserve to win. Pick: Bucs-WIN

Darby Shaw: Pick: Bucs-WIN

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Cardinals-LOSS

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bucs-WIN




Pittsburgh Steelers @ New Orleans Saints

LINE: Steelers(PIT) by 1

Darby Shaw

Random fact of the day: In week 8, the Saints are the only home team that’s an underdog in their game. Oh, and they’re the defending Super Bowl champs. Oh, and their opponent’s QB just recently got back from suspension. That’s gotta sting a little. Pick: Saints-WIN

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Steelers-LOSS

Steve Elle: Pick: Steelers-LOSS

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Steelers-LOSS


Monday, November 1st, 2010


Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts

LINE: Colts(IND) by 6

Darby Shaw: Pick: Texans-LOSS

Rick Bernardo: Pick: Colts-WIN

Steve Elle: Pick: Colts-WIN

Rob Wheatley: Pick: Colts-WIN



This Week 

Darby Shaw: 10-3

Rick Bernardo: 8-5

Steve Elle: 11-2

Rob Wheatley: 9-4


Rob Wheatley: 69-48 

Darby Shaw: 66-51 

Steve Elle: 66-51 

Rick Bernardo: 60-57

About Author


As the managing editor of The Inept Owl, Patrick has sworn to uphold the honor and integrity of hard-hitting journalism...but only on Sundays at 10am.

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