Hollywood, CA: In the wake of the huge buzz surrounding the upcoming Facebook movie “The Social Network,” other websites are working feverishly to develop scripts about the stories of their origins.
Naturally, teen-troll haven Myspace is at the head of the line at the various movie production companies, trying to find a buyer for “I Did It First, Dammit,” their treatment for the story of Myspace founder Tom. Tom, who went by his first name and never changed his profile pic once in an entire decade, was the first social networking dork in history to amass a million friends, none of which he actually interacted with. Not far behind Myspace in the process is Twitter, which is turning in a script that appears to only be 14 pages long.
Also in the works is “The Two White Houses,” an examination of the rising fame and popularity of the similarly-titled whitehouse.gov and whitehouse.com (Note: due to obscene content, the Inept Owl does not recommend that you go to either of the preceding websites). Interestingly, the movie features a cameo by Bill Clinton, who has actually appeared on both websites.
Perez Hilton’s attempt to shop the story of tmz.com has met with mixed results, largely due to copyright issues; preferred titles “Pulp Fiction” and “Raging Bull” were apparently already taken. Hilton raved, “I don’t care that they’d already been used! What two titles would better describe the content of my site than those? Who can I sue? Hollywood is obviously biased against me, and I don’t understand why. I mean, I treat its denizens with nothing but respect, and this is what I get?”
Unfortunately for the internet, plans to make a film based on one website had to be scrapped. The founders of the Internet Movie Database or imdb.com were forced to halt production when it was realized that making a movie about a website about movies could possibly tear a hole in the fabric of the universe and allow beings from another universe to come through (not unlike the plot of the Dolph Lundgren classic “Masters of the Universe“, coincidentally). Critics, however, were nonplussed by the news of the cancellation. Roger Ebert wrote, “No big loss. It was entirely too ‘meta’ a concept anyway. We’ve already had ‘Inception,’ what else do you need?”