Relax this week. Summer is almost over, so you want to get the most out of this lazy heat. After that, it’s only 115 more shopping days until Christmas.
Someone is challenging your authority in the workplace. You may be inclined to flare your hair up, spray on a tan, and wear a white linen shirt while you shrug your shoulders and “battle,” but stay calm. You’ll only receive ridicule, and even less authority.
You need to make sure that your creative energy gets the first shot at any projects you have lined up — the same boring approach just doesn’t work this time. Gordon Ramsay, I’m looking in your direction!
Try to reach out today — you’ve definitely got the right kind of energy for helping and making a real difference. If you don’t have any arms, well, work on that.
Today is perfect for exploring your creative side in earnest. Try making a macaroni picture painted with your own blood, or YouTube yourself taking a dump in your cat’s litter box. There’s a thin line between insanity and creative genius.
Singing Summer Love at bars during karaoke night can only get you so far. Summer is almost over. How many times did you get laid?
I rest my case.
Try to make the world a little brighter today — smile more, spruce up your space, send naughty photos to our staff. All of these things will make the world a better place.
Particularly that last idea.
You’re getting some weird, dreamy, powerful energy today, and you might just need to let it have its way with you. Kind of like that movie TRON, except that you won’t be glowing blue or red.
You need to look around you and figure out how to apply today’s big lessons to your own life: Red means stop; No means no; punching things with your moneymaker is not a good idea.
You can afford to make a few gaffes in order to keep your momentum today. This includes barrelling people over when walking in the street. If you’re afraid people may get angry at you, just wear a bicycle helmet.
You may find yourself getting sidetracked by all sorts of weird people or thoughts today — so don’t worry too much about getting all your work done. It’ll give you plenty of time to learn how to deal with the sort of people and thoughts you may come across on the unemployment line.
Follow your inspiration this week. It may lead you to your dreams! Either that, or directly into a jail cell. for example, my uncle Bob that liked the petting zoo a little too much.