After allegedly punching out his father-in-law, New York Mets closer Francisco “K-Rod” Rodriguez has apparently gone on a fighting streak the likes of Russell Crowe.

K-rod first stopped off in Las Vegas, Nevada to take on his first victim: UFC legend Chuck Liddell!

   After Liddell, it was inevitable that K-Rod would take on Tito Ortiz. however, inside sources in touch with The Inept Owl explained that the fight was merely a workshop for the two men, to learn other ways to pummel family members.

   But he didn’t stop there. Due to his anger at what had become of the Rocky franchise, K-Rod decided that he should beat the crap out of Sylvester Stallone, as well. So off he went to Los Angeles, CA.

 

But it’s not all bad. While traveling through Miami to beat down prospective baseball players, K-Rod came upon Pauly D of Jersey Shore fame. With a quick punch to the groin, K-Rod showed Mr. D that it wasn’t all about “hatin.”

However, K-Rod lost whatever respect he gained from the Pauly-D debacle, when he took on the loveable Betty White in a fist fight, which ended with the pitcher needing season ending surgery to repair torn ligaments in his thumb.

This should serve as a reminder to all of us: “Don’t fuck with Betty White.”

By FascistEditor

As the managing editor of The Inept Owl, Patrick has sworn to uphold the honor and integrity of hard-hitting journalism...but only on Sundays at 10am.