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Review of Court Yard Hounds’ Eponymous Album

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court yard hounds   In 2003, the Dixie Chicks pissed off NASCAR country.

   You probably remember the controversy; they made a comment to a London concert audience that they thought then-president Dubya was a chode (Ed. note: not a direct quote). A newspaper printed the quote, one of the 18 country music fans who are literate (Ed. note: not a factual statistic) got ahold of the quote… and the rest is history.

   After a PR circus to rebuild their image in the eyes of Toby Keith fans, who were supressing deeply-held sexual urges towards farm animals (Ed. note: not the opinion of a licensed psychologist), the Chicks released one more album and toured to promote their new work, then went on a hiatus.  During their time off, the three women started shooting out offspring like a trio of Pez dispensers (Ed. note: The Inept Owl has no marketing arrangements with the Pez company) and going through a bunch of divorces and crap (Ed. note: Darby Shaw is being forced to undergo sensitivity training at the end of this month).

   More recently, the Chicks’ lesbian twin sisters (Ed. note: *sigh* no, they’re not) Martie Maguire and Emily Robison decided they were ready to resume their musical aspirations; unfortunately, lead singer Natalie Maines preferred to sit on her ass eating bon-bons (Ed. note: TMZ has no photographic evidence of this, so it’s obviously not true). Therefore, Maguire and Robison created their own band, the Court Yard Hounds (Ed. note: this may be the first factual statement in this entire review so far; don’t get used to it).court yard show

   As the Court Yard Hounds, the two hot-for-each-other sisters (Ed. note: STOP THAT, DAMMIT) have released a self-titled album. Interestingly enough, they signed on Sheryl Crow to perform lead vocals for their debut album. (Ed. note: no, they didn’t).

Yes they did!

(Ed. note: No, they didn’t.)

I’m serious, boss! Listen to the album!

(Ed. note: That’s Emily Robison.)

Is that the brunette MILF who just got divorced? I’d like to be her rebound, if you know what I’m sayin’.

(Ed. note: You can’t say that.)

What, that she’s a MILF? You don’t think she’s hot?

(Ed. note: No, you just can’t… alright, FINE. She’s the brunette MILF.)

You’ve got the hots for the brunette? You DAWG!

(Ed. note: I hate you. Finish the damned review already.)

I’m trying, but you keep interrupting me.

(Ed. note: hate… growing…)

   Anyway, the album moves away from a traditional country sound, while still paying homage to their roots.  They continue to play their own instruments and stick to themes they find important, such as love, loss, and family.  True fans of the Dixie Chicks will still find plenty of similarities in the music, without feeling like this is just a Chicks-minus-Gaines approach to making an album. (Ed. note: we… I… holy hell, that almost sounded like a line from an actual review)

   Editor likes the MIIIIIIIIILF… Editor likes the MIIIIIIIIIILF…

(Ed. note: there it is.)

Song you should pay $1 for on iTunes, rather than downloading for free: See You in the Spring, a duet with Jakob Dylan. I mean, if the Chicks bailed on their lead singer, why not perform a song with a lead singer who bailed on his band, right? There’s karmic balance in that.

Rating: In honor of our esteemed Editor, I award this album 3 MILFs.

(Ed. note: Yep, still hate you.)

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