Tom River, NJ: For months, the notorious MTV surreality show Jersey Shore has begot both laughs and head shakes from the general public. The show follows a group of stereotypical New Yorkers from such stereotypical places like Long Island, Staten Island, and Brooklyn as they live together in…New Jersey. The show has featured such inspiring entertainment as Snooki getting punched in the face by a random guy, Michael Cera getting a makeover, and finding someone that tattooed the word “cadillac” to their body on purpose.
There is one person that hasn’t laughed since Ronnie chased him down to give him a beating “in self defense” outside a Seaside nightclub: Stephen Izzo. In fact, Mr. Izzo finds it so unfunny, that he took Jersey Shore to court.
“It’s a joke, bro. I mean, where do they get off making money off of sucker-punching me?” stated Mr. Izzo.
During Mr. Izzo’s testimony, Mr. Pauly D defended Ronnie and the show, stating that it would be hard to surprise someone with a blow to the face if such a person were “runnin down the street like a pansy-ass.”
The punchline is that Mr. Izzo lost his grievance. Judge Randolph Del Veccio threw the case out, but not because he is any sort of fan of Jersey Shore. The judge once exclaimed, “If I hear ‘Yo Tony’ one more time, I’m putting my fist through that TV”, when he happened upon his granddaughter watching the show.
Judge Del Veccio explained further. “Mr. Izzo’s complaint is sound. Ronnie is still up on possible criminal charges, therefore to execute a grievance against MTV and its show Jersey Shore is appropriate. I was ready to grant privilege right away. However, Mr. Izzo repeatedly called MTV ‘a joke’, the cast ‘a joke’, even this court and myself ‘a joke’. I could have let all of those statements slide, but once he called his own case and testimony ‘a joke’, I had to throw the case out on that technicality. Under oath, he stated that his complaint was ‘a joke’, so I had to treat it as such.”
“Saying it was a joke was a joke,” countered Mr. Izzo after hearing the judge’s statement. “I’m gonna say whatever the situation calls for.”
Upon hearing his tag name, Michael Sorrentino stood up and waited to be asked a question, but eventually sat back down when it was clear that nobody cared what he had to say.