Santa Barbara County, CA: The Michael Jackson memorial gained new steam this week, as the deceased King of Pop’s will was read in front of family, friends, and loan officers at a law firm in Los Angeles, California.

   It seems that Jackson’s assets have not been left to any one person in particular. The will states that family members will have a chance to scour his Neverland ranch and be allowed to take whatever they can find that isn’t bolted down to the floor. The ranch itself would then be auctioned off to pay off the Michael Jacksonmillions of dollars in loans the deceased had accrued. This would also help pay off the refunds for the line of concerts Michael Jackson was set to embark on in London.

   Large sums of cash, deeds to cars and property, rights the entire Beatles catalog, as well as patents to dances such as Zero Gravity and The Moonwalk were hidden throughout the Neverland ranch in case of Jackson’s death. It is believed that Jackson himself hid the items with his thought to be deceased pet monkey Bubbles.

   Although sister Janet Jackson was not present for the debacle, citing claims of disrespect to the Jackson legacy, other sister Latoya made no fuss about the proceeding as she drove a semi through the ranch, loading up anything she could find.

   Father Joe Jackson was seen grabbing the King of Pop’s children Paris and Blanket, screaming, “You’re gonna be stars, if I have to beat them into you!”

   The scavenger hunt’s entertainment includes Paul McCarthy, The Spice Girls, as well as the entire Mime Union of Paris, France.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.