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Country Shocked at Miss USA Pageant


Las Vegas, NV: Television viewers of NBC and the audience at the Planet Hollywood Resort were shocked and appalled at the Miss USA Pageant on Sunday. The reason: Perez Hilton.

   As a celebrity telecast judge, Perez Hilton was given the seemingly humorous function of asking Miss California Carrie Prejean a question. However, insteadPerez Hilton of a question such as, “Why would you consider wearing a one-piece swimsuit in this day and age?” or “Do you think George Clooney is straighter than Kevin Spacey?”, Perez asked the young blonde what she thought about other states adopting same-sex marriage.

   “We have never been so embarrassed. To think that we heard that intolerable question at our event is inexcusable,” stated a publicist for the pageant when asked about Perez Hilton’s disgustingly thoughtful question. “Who does he think he is, Larry King? We’re not electing a government official here.”

   “Really, I expected more from a man who draws penises and ejaculatory markings on celebrity photos and posts them on the internet,” stated celebrity analyst Ryan Seacrest.

   It is unknown what the future backlash may hold, but it can be assumed that Perez Hilton will not be allowed near an event microphone for quite some time.

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