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Richardson Cover-Up: The Real Culprit is Parking

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Natasha Richardson and Liam NeesonNew York, NY: Natasha Richardson, a gifted and precocious heiress to acting royalty whose career highlights included the film Patty Hearst and a Tony-winning performance in a stage revival of Cabaret, died Wednesday at age 45 after suffering a wrist injury from a meter accident two weeks ago. The “ski accident” was apparently fabricated by her theatrical family in an effort to “legitimize” her injuries.

    Ms. Richardson, wife of Liam Neeson and daughter of acclaimed actress Vanessa Redgrave, had incurred this injury two weeks ago while dropping several coins into one of the older, allegedly “risky” NY parking meters. In fact, the meter in question had recently been inspected due to another suspicious death.

   The meter is now being brought to Washington DC for a rare “meter autopsy.” This autopsy, the first of its kind since Bruce Jenner roller-bladed into a meter in L.A. and impaled himself, will be performed by “coroner to the stars” Michael Baden. He is expected to encounter steely resistance during the procedure.

   To evade the press, Richardson was taken by cab from Toronto, where she was taking “beginner skiing lessons,” to NY, then airlifted to New Jersey where she took a private jet to Miami to visit friends and then, upon feeling the further effects of her injury, back to Toronto to continue the act of deception she and her family had rehearsed.

   Regardless of the circumstances, this was still regarded as a sudden and horrifying loss for her family and friends, for the film and theater communities, for her many fans and for both her native and adoptive countries. Descended from at least three generations of actors including a mother loathed by millions, Richardson was a proper Londoner who came to love the noise and numerous parking meters of New York.

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