When I saw this on YouTube™, my first reaction was shock and amazement, but ever since I have been left with questions that only mount.

   Abbey and Brittany Hensel are sisters that share the same body. One might say, at first look, that they are a two-headed girl, which wouldn’t be too terribly inaccurate, but the DMV has determined that they will be issued two drivers’ licenses.

   Right away, this is where the questions start forming in my uselessly inquisitive mind. If one fails the driving test, the other one can take it, although the same hands would be used to fill in the answers on the test, and who’s to say they wouldn’t be cheating on the test – or any test for that matter?

   Picture them in a science class at mid-term. The morning of the big exam. Now, do Abbey and Brittany’s teachers let them take one or two tests? If two, then what again is to prevent the other from peeking at the answers of the other, or one whispering the correct answers in the others ear? Man! The questions The Hensel Twinskeep mounting the more one ponders the existence of these girl, or this sisters, or whatever they are.

   In one of the few documentaries the girls have done, they mention that it is none of anyone’s business as to their dating situations or social circumstances. I can understand their desire to live as private a life, or lives, as possible, but come on, man! There are just too many… Can you imagine if they found a guy they dig? Maybe one likes blonde guys and the other likes brunettes. Do they make one guy dye half his hair blond? Do they simply date two different guys? If they do date two different guys, do they have to… My god! Would one ask the other to wear a blindfold or earplugs? I would think it would be difficult to keep from knowing if there was any intimacy going on as it appears as though they share the same body from the naval down.

   They mentioned that they take turns a lot. Would that require, (someone has to say this), would she/one of them…yeah, I guess they would both like take the proper hygienic measures to.. how do I say this discretely? Would they wash up after the first boyfriend made love and then the second would have his go? Keep in mind their heads are right next to each other, and they share damn near everything else. They do have two hearts, I guess, so they would have to either agree on the same guy that desired both of them or, if not, they would have to pursue the messy process of figuring out ways of accommodating two different guys.

   You can see how every question that develops about these sisters only serves to dredge up even more disturbing quandaries.

   Back to the driving: If one gets pulled over for speeding, since they have two licenses, who gets stuck with the ticket? They only have one right foot between them, so would one say “I’m not paying this, you were the one who gunned it through that intersection back there”. Would the cop simply give them, or one of them, a warning ticket due to the inevitable confusion? Worse yet, what if they got pulled over for drunk driving? Does one get drunk and the other not? Maybe one’s head would be fine, but the head that was swilling the Jack Daniels would be spinning like a top. Do the legs and arms just simply give out for the both of them if intoxicated? If they get drunk, do both heads vomit? Acquire the same headache and/or hangover?

   What happens when they get a job, or jobs? What if the employer has a bad attitude towards Abbey, but not Brittany, right? Like, “Brittany, if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean”.

   “That’s Abbey being the lazy ass, Mr. Karbunkle”.

   “Yeah. Abbey’s the good one”.

   Who knows, man. Then there’s the mental health issues. What if one gets depressed and the other doesn’t? If the psychiatrist puts them both on Zoloft, does that make the other one an abuser? Then there’s the issue of the dentist: one gets a root canal and the other just has to sort of sit there and listen to all that drilling and moaning. Good lord! The questions… Then after the root canal, if the dentist writes out a script for Percocet, does that make the other one a law-breaking junkie for dispensing a narcotic not prescribed to her? I guess they would both feel the warm glow of the opiates. What if one develops an affinity for heroine? They only have one right and left arm between them. I would think they both would have to fall prey to any sort of drug abuse for that to work. If one is holding a pot pipe, the other one would have to hold the lighter or put her finger over the carb.

   Do you see how these questions can just snowball for eternity if you think too hard about them? Just imagine having to ANSWER these questions the hard way. That being actually having two heads, or a sister or brother that shared the same body as you.

   I, personally, am exhausted right now just thinking about all this horsesh*t, and it’s only 8:23 in the morning! Good luck Abbey and Brittany – Here’s to life in interesting times!