Take Your Kid to Church for Better Grades
A new study suggests that if you want to boost your teenager’s grade point average, you should take them to church.
If the researchers are to be believed, church attendance has as much effect on a teen’s GPA as whether the parents earned a college degree. Many of the church-going students who participated in the study not only had higher GPAs, but also lower drop-out rates.
Here’s a revolutionary idea: you could also ask your kid to read a book every once in awhile. Remember those? They used to be “all the rage” before a fellow by the name of Philo Farnsworth came around with his newest invention, the television. So maybe you should try turning off the fancy invention every once in a while, ignore the consternation sure to follow, and suggest your kid focus on learning from literature instead of becoming immersed in twelve hour ‘MTV’s The Real World’ marathons.
That’s it. My funeral will also be held in Puerto Rico. I want to be standing upright for four days. No, five. But instead of a Yankees cap and sunglasses, I’ll be attired in nothing but a speedo. And all of the mourners MUST take photographs of themselves posing with my dead self and later hang the photograph on the walls of their home where everybody can see it. Hey, it’s my final request and this is Puerto Rico!
The Pill Makes Women Pick Bad Mates
Me, I have the same problem when I take a Centrum Silver. I always wind up with women that beat me. I should probably find a new multivitamin.
Survivors of 1918 Flu Pandemic Still Protected
Am I supposed to be impressed? Oh, you’re protected from the flu, huh? Can you walk unguided to the bathroom? Can you remember your name when asked? No? Well, I can do both quite easily. Looks like I have you beat.
Police: Man says he grew pot in a cost-saving move
I’m not surprised. A few years ago, I wanted a Ferrari, but the price was a bit steep at $200,000 dollars. So I stole it and used the other $200,000 to buy a whole bunch of marijuana. You cut costs where you can, especially with the economy with the way it is nowadays.