London, UK: Critics of the British Monarchy have been dealt a right royal slap this week, courtesy of its head honcho, The Queen.
The Royals, who are generally labeled as “behind the times” and “out of touch with reality”, responded to its detractors with a regal kidney punch to the very heart of their arguments, in the face!
Queen Elizabeth II, (or II, as she is known by close friends), displayed to all the world how well informed and decisive she is, by stripping newly elected President of Zimbabwe, General Robert Mugabe, of his Honorary Knighthood before he did anything slightly dishonorable.
The Honorary Knighthood is bestowed to any world leader holding a high military ranking. Often lovingly referred to as “Despotic Dictators”, these pillars of society hold huge positions of power and have access to vast amounts of national wealth, completely regardless of any democratic process, something very close to the heart of the German, sorry, British Royal family.
What possible action could have caused this huge slur on the character of General Mugabe is unclear at this point, it is just assumed that Her Majesty(or Madge as she is known by close friends) has a special insight into the matter, probably due to her Ordination by God and all that jazz, a sort of “sight beyond sight” similar to the Sword Of Omens from Thundercats.
Robert Mugabe (or Bobmug as he is known by close friends) is only the second person to have this honour removed. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceaucescu was stripped of his title some years back. It appears that something he did brought dishonor to the Royal family so they no choice but to hit him where it hurts. They stopped him from wearing a blue sash.
A further blow to Mugabe, that is sure to rock him to his very core, is the decision not to send the England Cricket team to tour Zimbabwe later this year. The prospect of not having twenty fat English blokes roaming the country drinking beer for a month is sure to deliver a crippling blow to Mugabe’s leadership.
When asked for a comment on the Queens actions, a close friend of Elizabeth Regina (or E.R.) told us, “It’s a good job they didn’t call her E.V.”