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Marriage Proposal Given New “Old-Fashioned” Spin


New York, NY-With the eye-opening fiction of the diamond trade in theaters, women are becoming apprehensive about receiving diamond engagement rings. Upon looking at the brilliant, multi-faceted jewel, feminine sympathy has brought about sadness and disgust.

         Hillary Brandis of New York stated, “ Every time I see that little clear-cut, dazzling jewel dangling from an earlobe, neck, or around a finger, I think about those poor children in Africa and the number of gun fights and car chases that affect their lives every day. I don’t want to support something like that.”         What better way to get her to say, "I do."

       The marketing department of Wilhelm-Somani has taken this sympathy and created a campaign for a new way of proposing marriage to women who would most likely be affected by receiving diamonds: engagement cook-ware. This idea stems not only from concern over diamond-trade countries and their poverty stricken residents, but also from this generation’s outlook on relevance and unromantic practicable use.

         “Think of it,” replied Alan Lorschwick, Marketing Director of Wilhelm-Somani, “a marriage proposal that actually takes care of a necessary wedding gift. It’s pure genius! Instead of a breath-taking diamond engagement ring, women will get stainless-steel frying pans.”

         The test run did not deter the company. Out of the 50 men who proposed to their women with the pans,  20 were flat out rejected while the other 30 were taken to hospitals due to severe concussions and lacerations to the face. “Not everyone is going to jump on this trend overnight,” Lorschwick explained, “but given time, I’m sure we will see our revolution of the courting process become the norm.”

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